Just let it go!

So as most know me I have the hardest time letting go. Letting go of control and just letting it ride. The past 4 months have been the hardest, Yes Nessa is 3 months old but I count my 9th month in this post. It has been the hardest because for once I have a needy baby. Meaning she needs and only me! I love her dearly and look forward to our relationship but man can she wear me out.
Anyways today due to lack of sleep and behavior issues we summed the children to clean their rooms and organize them, while I figured we could do small projects. Well I started projects and Nessa would start fussing. If I held her she was happy and giggled. I tried the rock and play, floor gym, swing, even the Ergo. Nope, none of that worked, this girl wanted my full on attention. And no one was to get in her way.
As the day wore on my patience grew small, I wanted to accomplish something! Besides nursing, diapers and cooking. I do that every day, I really don't mind it but I wanted a project to complete. I wanted to feel validated by doing something that changed something in the house.
We sat down to dinner and we finished dinner and the kids ran off to finish their rooms before showers and bed, I looked at my husband and said "I just want to do something!" and he said something that 5yrs ago that would have started the biggest fight. "Sometimes you have to accept that you can't do much right now", now that ladies and gentlemen would have fired me off and made me say things disrespectful and hurtfull. Or maybe even not speak to him and just slam cabinets, or walk off to the bedroom with Nessa and act like he doesn't exist tonight. But because A- I have learned that doesn't solve anything B- God gave him to me, to lead me and be the voice of reason and C- I have learned to hear blue through pink after 10yrs of marriage (thank you to the study Love & Respect). Now I haven't perfected hearing blue through pink, so I am not the perfect wife who says "oh thank you dear! I love you all" the time. Sometimes I do step on his air hose and waits til he turns purple. But tonight, I heard God say "Listen! He's not saying accept it you won't be doing anything til she's self sufficient. He's saying I know it bothers you, I know it frustrates you that you are not going and being 'do it all mom' . But let it go and let me help you. Accept that you need me, it's ok."
And I listened and I heard, and I still tapped on the air hose a little with my disgruntled attitude. But I accepted and let it go. With being a mom of 3 now life hasn't been the easiest transition for me, but I still love every minute of it. And I know God will bring me through all of the trails of this new path of our life.