The "M" word

MISCARRIAGE...The "M" word, is a silent but emotional word that seems to never be talked about openly. Its one of many things that can make or break a woman. Almost all women will go through it at least once in their life. And, sadly we all are not prepared for it, because we don't talk about it. No one ever knows about it, until you say I had one. Then everyone shares stories about their experience, and all you do is sit there like "WHY? Why didn't anyone ever say anything?". We don't express the pain openly, and we don't really talk about it in sex ed. Every woman should be prepared for this kind of thing. Every woman should talk about it, and know about it!

 "Miscarriages SUCK, they are heart breaking and they can take you down faster than anything you can prepare for. But its WHO you believe in, and WHO you have as a support is the ONLY way you can survive!" - My words to a friend who had one

I went through one 7yrs ago, and it destroyed me for months. I lost faith in God for awhile, I lost faith in having children, but I also lost MYSELF. I shut down completely, I pulled away from everyone and I hid the fact that I was completely destroyed by what happened. Because I felt like my dream was crushed in 1 split second. I was crushed at the cruel way my manager handled me losing the one thing I wanted more, I was crushed that I could be pregnant for one day and then BAM! gone, like it never even was there. But what hurt me most was some people that was a part of my life, dismissed it like it was nothing. "Ok, you where only 3wks pregnant, it really wasn't a baby". People don't know HOW to handle these situations because its something people never talk about it. 3 or 40 wks it is still an emotional attachment, it is still a baby to someone. Honestly without my family (mom,sister, grandmother & Aunt) and my husband, who let me grieve and held my hand. I don't think I would have ever gotten past the depression of a miscarriage. And without returning to my faith in God I don't think I would have ever seen the WHY behind it all. A couple months ago I never understood why this happened, why I had go to the darkest most unbelievable pain of losing a baby, til the day I had to comfort SEVERAL friends of mine. Something I would have never seen coming. But God did, he saw why he had to break my heart to help those I was so close to. These women I started a relationship with, through church but ultimately grew attached to through out mommy-play date group. I had to talk them through, I had pray them through it and I had to walk them through understanding God's plan, why it happened. Then to turn around 7yrs later and go through a chemical pregnancy, knowing that it is not labeled a miscarriage but to be told "You are not pregnant". But what helped me this time, was the LOVE and SUPPORT from those friends who I walked through with. To show the guidance, the prayers and the shoulders to cry on.  To have that, changed the whole thing, knowing the moment I said "Something is wrong" they scramble and form a support system to help was amazing. I had ladies offering child care, late night texting when they saw I was still awake and most important I had a prayer group, praying every moment of the day it felt like. I had the MOST amazing friends and family come to my aid.
So if you are reading this and you feel like "I'm the ONLY one" you are not, there are thousand of women who have been through it, and survived, AND have children. I count my 2 blessings (my son and daughter) God has blessed me with already, and look forward to when he will bless us with our third. And hopefully this will get people talking about miscarriages, and be better prepared. I love you all and I am here to talk if you need someone to talk to!
Blessings
Tina