The reality of Postpartum

When you hear “Postpartum”, what do you think? Most will answer, new baby, maternity leave, or even Postpartum Depression. In Webster’s Dictionary, it is defined “following child birth, or the birth of a young”. If you think about it, to our culture Postpartum is just that. In the United States, most people are clueless about the Postpartum period a woman goes through. Simply because of what we are taught, here in America.

  

In most culture’s a woman is given what is called “Cushion period”. This is a period that last 8-40 days before she, returns to normal duties. (Kruckman, 1992/Raphael, 1973) In this time, she is massaged with herbs and essential oils. She is also isolated from the rest of the house with her baby and the ladies who are tending to her. Her only job this period is to recover and bond with her baby. There are other cultures where she is given 6 months to 2 years of maternity leave, without the fear of losing her job or income (Nurturing the Family, J. Keller). It sounds amazing when you think about it.

  In America, we offer the least support in the world! We offer new mothers, tangible items. We offer things like car seats, strollers, toys, clothes, diapers and even How to books. But we rarely offer actual support for the new parents or new mother

“For new parents, the challenges are numerous—recovery from birth; total responsibility for a tiny dependent newborn; sleeplessness; emotional adjustment; mastery of infant feeding and care; understanding of and adjustment to the unique personality of their baby; and household organization. Sometimes the physical or emotional health of the new mother or baby is compromised, and the parents need more support at home than they had expected” – The Postpartum Doula’s Role in Maternity Care Position Paper.

  In the United States, 20% of women suffer from postpartum depression. And while it can frequently be caused by medical issues such as a chemical imbalance, sometimes it is just caused from feeling alone. Feeling like you have no one to turn to, feeling like you are standing on the outside of your body, and not knowing why. Just finding it hard to get up out of bed and face the world. This can be very difficult for some to handle. 

“Depression and/or anxiety related to childbearing is under-recognized, under-diagnosed, and under-treated disorder. We now know that at least 10 percent of pregnant and postpartum woman suffer from this disorder. Fathers are also affected as well as those who adopt. These individuals need professional help as soon as possible” – Jane I. Honikman, M.S

 In my profession as a Postpartum Doula I am doing what I can to make an open and honest space for woman. To help woman take back Postpartum! To help woman understand that we are not Heidi Klum, who can walk a run away 5 weeks postpartum. 

Heidi 2009 from UsWeekly

That we took 9 months to grow this beautiful blessing, and it will take time to return to "normal". 

It's ok to...

• Tired
• Sore
• Frusterated
• cry
• still be in maternity 3wks+
• Want a moment to breath
• hungry
• want a shower
• cry because walking to the kitchen is exhausting
• and so many more!

Postpartum isn't a race, it isn't who can return to every day life the fastest! It's the moment in time where you should embrace this tiny human, and its a time when the woman of your village come and care for you! It's also the time that your Postpartum Doula comes in and makes sure that you get your cushion period. And love it! Postpartum is no longer a dirty word, its a moment in time that you cherish!

If you are interested in Postpartum Doula services, please feel free to contact. I service the Hampton Roads area of VA.

Tina the Postpartum Doula * www.facebook.com/tinathepostpartumdoula * tinathedoula@gmail.com

Raising Arrows

Today was "Grocery Day" here in the household. I considered for a moment to waiting for hubby to get home. Between the heat and past grocery shopping experiences. But I was up and dress by 7:15am, and the household started to stir. So we headed out at 8:15am. They made it through 2 stores (Target and Costco)  no fussing, they even had store Cashiers compliment they're behavior. Then we made it to Kroger. Now some would think this is where it turns ugly. Nope.
Any other situation, I would have changed 100% and said "The day is going down hill!!". But the moment the youngest started to fuss and cause a scene. Her siblings stepped up, and without being asked. Karalena started to try and find snacks, or something to keep her happy where she was. After I finally moved her up with me, we went to check-out. And THAT'S WHEN IT TURNED UGLY!
Vanessa had NO interest in checking out, I was trying to keep her seated, and unload, and Kris stepped over and started knock knock jokes. But Vanessa dismissed him. And that's when he actually stepped up to her and put her in her place.

"Vanessa no! Don't push me away. I am trying to help. Now I am going to sing to you and talk to you! " - Kris

And started to sing Itsy Bitsy Spider, and then they started say knock knock jokes. He seemed to have officially started understanding how to handle her. She isn't as " tag along" as Lena was.

Today was above and beyond amazing for me as a Mom. I saw my kids not only behave, but be helpful. They took over where I needed them to without being asked. And never once did I hear "well I did this can I get this for it.". They truly blessed me today, with their actions.
I am proud to call them "My Little Blessings".
Have a Beautiful Weekend
Tina

Simplicity

So we've had our home on the market for about 160+ days, and come July 31st we take it off Market to enjoy living in the home again, and simply because of the holidays coming up. Since then, we've been slowly purging and living without a lot of "stuff". For a cleaning aspect of it, it's been a lot easier to keep up.

Kids playing, towels drying

All this week,  we've been kind of homebodies. Being home, playing in our own backyard. And it's been nice to just not be in a hurry. It's been 3 days so far and this has been our schedule. We get up, all of us get an hour of TV or tablet. Go outback from 9-11am, go in, wash up get dressed for the day (because we usually go outside in pjs.), have lunch and then either go somewhere or just hang out inside. When daddy gets home we enjoy dinner together as a family, then go outside as a family (permitting weather).

Water table: curb find FREE

One thing I have noted that since we have not been in a "let's go let's go" first thing in the morning,  it's been very fuss/attitude free. I honestly feel less stressed out too.
Come August we plan to do a deep purge of the attic and declutter our lives. We've learned that stuff doesn't make a home or make the kids happier. It's the time and effort you put into living and your loved ones life that makes it great. I honestly can't wait!
So today, I challenge you to try a little "Simple life" today,  tomorrow or a whole weekend. And just live simple for the day(s).
Have Blessed week!
Tina

Sweet Sleep

"Oh where have you been?" -  me. 

This is my opinion to this amazing book,  I'm on my 5th book for the Postpartum Doula reading list. I wish I had on hand when my youngest was born. It's called "Sweet Sleep, Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family". 
It has makes me feel like I am doing this correctly. I have never had a baby who was exclusively breastfed, and was as hands on as she was. I had to reach out to other moms because I never knew if I was doing it right. And thank you to the Moms who reassured me,  many-many times.

7/2015

I learned that my sweet little blessing is a "Velcro Baby" and she will pretty much be completely different from my "routine" son, and "Night Owl" daughter. She's not going to be on a set schedule yet, or be willing to lay in a toddler bed and fall asleep.
I highly recommend this to ALL new moms or soon to be mom's. It covers so many things I wish I had. I can't wait to share the information with all the new moms I get to help out with this Postpartum Doula Business :).
Blessings
Tina

Vitamin D, don't mind if I do.

Vanessa loving the sand

 What a great day out on the lake! I got to watch my kids do things that I never would have thought to do at their ages!! One because I don't swim in water I can't see my toes in. And two: I never had that kind of confidence.
Our oldest took the Kayak out, and honestly did better than I do! I can manage to go in circles. He also towed his sister around for us, she wasn't quit able to control her own Kayak, yet.

Kris towing his sister in the Kayak. 

 After they had time out on the lake, we decided to do the "Easy Ski" and we decided to do it with a kayak!! Crazy, but it worked well.

 They did amazing!! All 3 of our kids did it. I genuinely was proud of them. My kids have learned to LOVE the outside and the water.

Karalena showing off! 

They could have stayed outside on the water all day long.  Kris did 2 rounds, Karalena did 4 rounds and Vanessa did like 6 rounds.

Vanessa smiling so BIG!! 

Karalena even Pulled Vanessa in the shallow area on the easy ski.

Once we got home, we all were just fried and tired. So we relaxed a little, and then played Lego Pirate Plank. Which was fun and so entertaining.
It was so nice to have another Saturday to just relax. So get out and enjoy some vitamin D and family time.
Blessings
Tina

Visiting A New Mom

This weekend I had the joy of making a meal (recipe at the end of post)  for the FIRST of 5 baby's that was born this week. This is something I enjoy so much. It's another outreach to mama's I do.
Making a meal, helps them by not having to worry about at least one thing that day. It cooked and ready to go at drop off. It's also in a disposable dish, they don't have to keep up with bowls and getting them back to me.
Now as a mom of 3 now, I have learned some things about visiting new babies and I'll share them real quick. But keep in mind you know the new mom and their situation so this is just to be taken as helpful suggestions.

Send a message or text alert the arrival. 
 This my personal request, and something I do. New moms can't move quickly. They just pushed a baby out or had major surgery. So it may take them a min to get up. Or if they are nursing,  they may not have the walk around nursing thing down yet. So give them a heads up so they have a time frame or can be ready when the door bell rings.

Don't stay long
Now I will admit, I have over stayed my welcome a time or two. And honestly some mom's won't say it, but leave. Seriously, give your self a timer on your phone 30mins. And try to leave before that timer goes off. Most mom's need to nurse (newer mom's won't feel comfortable just nursing infront of people yet), or just nap.

Wait to be invited
  Wait for them to get home, and settled. Don't send a thousand text messages. Just simply let them know, when they are ready for company to let you know. And they will.

DO something
If you are blessed enough to be invited over, offer to do something. Or just pick up a little around. I remember when I had my 2nd blessing, a friend came over and took out ALL the trash. And while at first I was a little embarrassed (bc let's be honest it's the stinky job) I was grateful.

Be Understanding:
Everybody wants to hold and smell that beautiful new blessing. But wait. There is bad news here,  you may NOT get to. New moms don't want to let anyone hold their new baby. But eventually you will.  I usually will wait for the mom to ask "Would you like to hold him/her?". If they don't that is fine.
And last but not least:

Bring food or beverage!
It doesn't have to be a meal, but it can be a basket full of snacks. Or a coffee, or something you know they enjoy.

Enjoy the opportunity to be a blessing to a new mother.  Sharing a meal and lending a helping hand is such a simple gesture but for a new mom gradually getting used to the new normal of having another little one to look after it can feel like a small miracle.
Blessings
Tina

One Pot Tortellini and Sausage in Tomato Cream Sauce

Ingredients

• 1 lb package of Turkey Kielbasa
• 1/2 cup diced onion
• 20 oz. package of refrigerated Tortellini
• 28 oz can of whole tomatoes, cut in the can with kitchen scissors
• 1 cup chicken broth or water
• Pinch of salt & pepper
• 2 Tbsp cream cheese
• 2 cups shredded jack and cheddar cheeses

Instructions

1. Cook the onion in a little olive oil until soft. Add sliced turkey sausage and cook until browned. Add chicken broth, tortellini, tomatoes, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, stirring often. Turn heat down to low, cover and simmer for about 15 minutes, or until pasta is cooked to al dente. Remove from heat and add cheeses, reserving a handful for topping. Cover and let stand for five to ten minutes. Grarnch with green onions, if desired. Serve hot.

Just Breathe.....

So my amazing husband planned a day for us to go to Norfolk Botanical Gardens. At first, I wanted to resisted. One: because I had a to-do list a mile long. And two: because we honestly need to catch up on house and yard work.  But then I said "ok let's go", and it was the most amazing 5hrs ever!

Not a care in the world, we took end of year homeschool photos, and even got an updated family
 photo.

It was a much needed: do nothing, no responsibilities, I even left the house a mess.
The entire day I kept hearing the song "Breathe"  -  By Johnny Diaz.
Chorus:

"Breathe, just breathe

Come and rest at My feet

And be, just be

Chaos calls but all you really need

Is to just breathe"
What a reminder! I hope this weekend you all take a moment to
JUST BREATHE!

Blessings 
Tina

When life isn't rainbows and fluffy cats.

Went to the grocery store today, and if you could see my face as I pushed a cart full if kids and food. People everywhere were rude and not very kind all together.

Scene from Pixar Inside Out

And me repeating "Sit down now"  every 5 mins the entire 5hrs it took me to grocery shop.  My saving grace was the last store. The cashier at Target, was kind and all smiles. Even with my toddler standing on the seat demanding to be out of the cart.
It was the simple act of a smile and a look. That I took as "Hi Mama. It will get better". It wasn't the smoothest drive home, or the 45mins it took me to unload all the groceries. But it was the sarcastic, genuine trying to cheer me up "Well mom, life isn't always rainbows and fluffy cats", comment from my son.
So yes, life isn't always rainbows and fluffy cats lol!!!!
Blessings
Tina

The Sleepless Beauty.

Oh as I write this I am sipping on a big cup of coffee!! My sweet little blessing (who turns 2 in Aug) had us restless all night long. She has been doing so well lately, even survived a trip to Michigan (15-18hrs) without much fussing.

 But last night she seemed restless and really needing mama.
Its funny because I could hear the difference in her cry.  It wasn't the normal "Hey I don't wanna be in here!" cry. It was a "Something was wrong and I need my mama." cry.
This little girl has a vocabulary that is sometimes understandable, and sometimes not so clear. I try and get her to communicate with words, but sometimes she just can't. So I listen to the ques she gives me.
Ever since I had my son people would say listen to their cry, it changes based on their needs. And it does! 3 kids in and you can tell the difference if you listen. There is a hungry, uncomfortable, diaper change, gassy,  stubborn, tantrum, hurt, scared and frustrated cry.

Sometimes even at almost 2 you gotta give up a little of sleep for them. But don't worry, one day the tables will turn :).




Blessings and a cup of coffee,
Tina

When a passion grows

So I have been gone for awhile. We've been working on selling our house and basically raising 3 amazing children. Life has been a little insane I will admit, but it's also been amazing. Things have been coming together, and I have found God leading me into areas of life I never saw coming.
I have been looking into studying Postpartum Doula. This is something I have already been doing, not knowing it.

I started with a simple Google search, reaching out to my Midwives (my own midwife and friends who are home birth Midwives). I started searching different certification availability and got connected to someone who does it as well.
After that I went to my local library to check most of the books on the reading list for the DONA site. And it seemed impossible at the time but now, I've already gotten through 2 books, started a third.  I have since then started to look at a site called Thrift books. AMAZING find by my sweet husband. We have saved so much money this way.

So one of the books I started reading was "You Inc.", on our way to Michigan to see my sister and her family. As I was reading, the ask questions about why you do want to do what you do? And that really struck me. Why? It was very simple. I had to answer this question, and I could have answered the generic answer of because I love babies, or I love helping. And that's not why. The real reason is very real, and very close to my heart. Moms. Moms are the reason I desired to be there for them. I have blogged about this before, Moms being there for moms. And its very real, when I became a mom I was the only one in my group of friends to start a family. I felt a lone (not to get attention but it is true), in the most life changing time I felt a lone. Mainly because I got married right out of high school. So when we had kids MOST of our friends were getting married or still dating. I had my family and my sister (who had twins and was close to delivery of her third). I also had mentors who were Moms but they were in their own seasons. 

When you become a mom things change A LOT. I needed that person who could come over and just see the hot mess I was trying to figure out. When I had my son, life was about no sleep and being with him, and I needed people who understood that. Luckily I had my sister and I also my Best Friend at that time who understood that. 

When I had decided to become a Stay at Home mom, I started seeking out new moms of the church who needed that safe circle of moms that you could be comfortable and open. 

You could confide in and just ask for help when feel like you are losing it. 

Photo Credit: www.mothertreebirths.com

And that is when I decided that someone needed to be there for these moms. Even if it was baby #1 or #6, every mom needs that person who can come over at midnight because you feel insane. Or come over at 6 am to just help you start the day. 

And that is WHY I decided to follow my passion of helping moms get through this life change. To love on them and tell them it will be OK. Postpartum Care is the most important thing a mom can have, to have someone in your corner while you ugly cry, just stare at a wall or even just feel normal. 

Everything is still in the works for becoming a Postpartum Doula, but I am excited to know this is God's calling for me, and I plan to try and blog about our process, as well as fun things me and the kids learn in life, as I have the past.

Blessings!

Tina

We need more trees!

Well, this weekend has been crazy busy and fun!
We celebrated hubby's 33rd Birthday!! We attempted an outdoor movie night, only to get rained out. BOO! But we snuggled into our 1,000sq ft house with 11 adults and 7 kids.
But today we broke out of the house! We went to our local Botanical Gardens, and we walked everywhere we could. Let them play at the WOW (World of Wonders) kids area, where they have a water play yard. And in the giant sand mountain where they can live their Pirate Dream!
A long our venture we discovered this amazing Cherry Weeping Willow. It was like a safe haven from the sun and heat, it was amazing. And the kids enjoyed it so much. My kids are not blessed to have trees in their yard to climb so this was very special. The trees where almost saying "Come climb me!", with their low branches, and knots designed just for their small (well small Lena feet lol). They got first hand lesson from their daddy as well. Which seemed to bring out the kid in him! I loved it. I also sat back with our youngest (Too much mulch for her to eat) and saw my children looking up at it. Looking at how the tree branches intertwine, and create an amazing canopy.  Then my son asked why the branches looked like vines and asked, if you could swing from them. Oh how the brain works!



 Then they discovered a tree under the willow that had what looked like arms open wide waiting for a child to sit in them.

And they took to them as excited as seeing a loved one! They ran to it and asked their daddy to help them. They didn't wanna leave either, my son looked at me and said "We need more trees". Oh how I agree, we need more trees! We need the free play, be wowed by God's creation and enjoy the great outdoors! 

I hope sometime this week you get out and enjoy a tree or two!

“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” (Isaiah 55:12)

Blessings

Tina

In A blink of An Eye!

This morning was a hard morning. Vanessa was up at 4:45am, even though I tried to let her cry it out, she was pretty much starting to wake the house up. And after nursing and rocking she pretty much thought it was play time. She was UP, and I laid her down for 1hr praying she'd drift off. No such luck to be found.
About 5:50am I decided it wasn't worth waking the older 2 and got up. And at that point I decided to express my discontent on social media, only to get God's Answer from a good friend (Who is pretty much in the same boat as me with baby sleep habits.).

 "......BUT as much as I'd love for some sleep myself, I know it'll be over all too soon & the snuggles & kicks in my side & arm cramps in the middle of the night will be what I long for when he's fast asleep by himself in his own bed."

How true is that? Satan was trying to stomp all over my "Embrace Imperfection" with and unhappy, no sleeping in for you, baby. And a friend showed me the basic truth, one day you will miss it. You will wonder when did she grow up? In a few short weeks my baby will be 1yrs old and no stopping her then. She will be 7yrs old in a blink of an eye.

Now I say this with a happy heart now, and conviction... but 12hrs ago I rolled my eyes, and thought BUT I'M TIRED NOW! And God smiled back and said "I'm tired of your whining so put your big girl panties on and look!" and at that moment, her brother came in, invited her into his room and all 3 of my kids played together. My baby, who is now 7, took responsibility for my youngest. When did that happen? I blinked in a moment of tiredness and he grew up before my eyes.

There will ALWAYS be coffee, but there always won't be babies. Love them, rock them, and suck it up!

Blessings
Tina

Embracing Imperfection

What in your life is perfect? 

Perfect house, husband, kids, job, your week, body?
 What are you struggling with just letting be imperfect? 




My friend (Mala, she has a small business called Aunt Molly's Big Fat Bag) made this bracelet a few months back and I felt like God was showing me. Telling me that I didn't let go still.

 And I told her as soon as she perfected it let me know! I need this constant reminder. Because I struggle with Embracing Imperfection. And since this past Sunday (July 5th) I have worn it every day, it has helped me so much. I have stopped and prayed when the kids didn't listen, I have smiled when my baby wanted to be held instead of playing. And the biggest thing I let my kids bring out every craft item to craft with! And I just let them do, I didn't micro mange or freak out because stickers where all over the floor. 

I am slowly learning to embrace a messy house, a pile of laundry, and fussy baby who just wants me. And I am not perfect at it, but coming around to what God has in store for my imperfections!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Blessings
Tina

Where have you been?

When people ask me "Why haven't you been blogging?"
I simply say "I'm a mom".... that should be all that needs to explain why, or so you think huh? *Insert sarcasm*

I'm JUST a mom of 3, just a homeschooling, stay at home, live in maid, mom of 3.

A mom of a 7yr old that asks 1001 questions in the first 5 mins of his feet hitting the floor, a 4.5yr old who insist on being the baby yet a big girl, and a now 11mth old who destroys the house in 10 secs if left to her own, as well as hates being left a lone (please read this blog to understand her). BUT I love it, and I chose to be mom and wife first. Now that sleep has finally come our way, I feel like I can finally get back to blogging! So I am going to try and commit to blogging as often as I can.

Because LIFE is NEVER boring over here in CRAZY TOWN!!!

Blessings,

Tina

Crunchy Mom

 Today was another "Crunchy Mom" moment. I laugh as I sit here writing this, simply because I never imagined myself this way!

This morning was milestone, Vanessa slept in til after 7am! That's right she slept in AND slept in her own crib for 12hrs! But when I went to go change her, it changed the celebration to fear. She was completely covered with a rash from head to toe. MY WORST FEAR! Something is wrong and I don't know what it is. My first thought "Hand Foot and Mouth", oh no we've been through this BUT she never had a fever. So I called the Dr as soon as the office opened. And they said I could come in but because of no fever and she is nursing, they'd see her at 2:45pm. Ugh!

We finally get there and turns out she has that lovely virus that breaks out in a rash, at the end stage. The treatment plan: Oatmeal bath and store baby lotion. I smiled, and said ok! Then strap her into her ring sling and walked out, and as I walk with her in arm (Which by the way, anyone who's been to DePaul *Norfolk,VA*, knows the walk is amazing around that hospital) I looked at her, all smiles and said "Not for my baby! You just need a Small bath with lavender oatmeal soap (made by my good friend Wendy at Lavame Clean) and Coconut Oil!!!"

I can say that just that a lone has helped her already. Her cheeks looks almost cleared, and her skin has calmed down a lot. I gotta say I love it! I love seeing the natural things in life work.

Praying tonight is a calm and restful night!


Blessings
Tina

Why I am a Crunchy mom.

The other day at a Dr's visit, I was called a Crunchy mom! Never thought I was a crunchy mom. But I guess I am and here is Why I chose to be THAT mom. Yes by that mom I mean, a Babywearing, cosleeping, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, and homeschooling.

Well where to start? How about cosleeping, I will be honest. It wasn't my first idea, when I first started having children. I always imagined myself as a working mom and my kids in public school. But something changed the moment my son was laid in my arms. Something happened that I never though could happen: Motherhood. Motherhood does some crazy things to a woman. She becomes this person no one ever knew about. 

Well 6yrs ago I had a little (ok he was 10lbs at birth but he was still little) baby boy who I loved more than anything. But he didn't fit the cradle. His shoulders where too wide... and I couldn't put him in his crib yet, and our bedroom was way too small for a pack and play. So I chose the one thing left, cosleeping. Now a lot of older mom's gasp when I say I cosleep. Number one reason for them "it isn't safe". Well I have spoken to several drs over the past 6yrs, and read about it. And they all agree as long as you don't smoke, drink, take heavy narcotics, and your partner doesn't do any of those, it is safe. I will say, because baby #3 is the longest cosleeping baby, if I had a drink or like hubby, who one night took cold meds I slept on the supported chair with her. And usually if I sleep in the chair I have a firm grip and firm pillows. She's not rolling or able to get away. But I have found that cosleeping not only gets me sleep, but my kids and babies are so much happier. Now we do sleep train to give them independence, we don't have a family bed. Hubby has his rule, that I respect,  once they are walking and talking "you are not allowed in bed when daddy is in the bed sleeping". And I agree, now if they are to the point of breaking down, I will allow them to sleep in the room on the floor. But rarely have I had to do that. Cosleeping best thing I ever did I tell ya! 

Now to Babywearing, oh how I love to wear my babies. 

It's another personal choice that again some find it pointless and border line spoiling. And I laugh! The first time I wore my son it saved me so much stressful moments of "I can't do anything". Now some of them it didn't work out perfect and stress free while wearing (hint from my last blog "just let it go").  And I will say, some days Nessa hates it, but I chose to wear them because I can, and it is good for them. It gives them security and comfort when they are tiny,  and you burn extra calories, so it's a win win! Now since Kris I have become obsessed with baby wearing! I own/borrowed 2 slings, Boba Sleep Wrap and a moby, Ergo and a homemade sevens sling. And here is my opinion on it them: moby great for the first month (maybe more if you have small babies which I do not), and the Boba Sleep Wrap is great for larger babies and longer wrap wearing. Slings: Ring Slings are the BEST BEST BEST thing ever invented! Easier for breastfeeding and carrying to and from them car and being at church. Honestly the Maya Wrap sling is amazing! It has a pocket for your stuff, comfortable for baby and me,  and very easy to use!! And the Ergo, need I say more? Ok for those who don't know about an Ergo, it the most amazing carrier invented. I think it's better for when they are older, like 3 months. But it's a back saver, and a life saver. I do love this for park days and walking around the house. Then the most exciting thing this year, because my daughter loves to be worn. My mother bought me the Boba Hoodie, for my birthday! I haven't gotten it yet, but it's amazing looking. Man, I can't wait with the weather getting colder I can't be more excited. The homemade seven sling I've honestly never really been able to use, because my first was to big for it and baby #2 didn't like it. But I've had friends who loved it. So there are tons of baby wearing ideas!   

Now as you can see how the other things fall into place: cloth diapering and breastfeeding easy choice! It's better for them, and saves money! Now cloth diapers start out pricey but in the end saves money. And breastfeeding, while it isn't the easiest thing it's been a money saving, calorie burning, healthy for me and baby decision. 

And last but not least homeschool. 

The decision to homeschool wasnt the easiest, but to our family we knew it was the best decision for us. I have many many reasons why we homeschool but the main thing is to teach them God first, morals second and education last. I can say we've had the normal backlash, from people. And that's ok, I always say "it's what's best for our family". I can say my son is doing great, and my oldest girl is coming into schooling age and love it. I love watching them learn and grow. 

So this is why I am a "crunchy mom" lol. I pray you read some good information :) 

Just let it go!

So as most know me I have the hardest time letting go. Letting go of control and just letting it ride. The past 4 months have been the hardest, Yes Nessa is 3 months old but I count my 9th month in this post. It has been the hardest because for once I have a needy baby. Meaning she needs and only me! I love her dearly and look forward to our relationship but man can she wear me out.
Anyways today due to lack of sleep and behavior issues we summed the children to clean their rooms and organize them, while I figured we could do small projects. Well I started projects and Nessa would start fussing. If I held her she was happy and giggled. I tried the rock and play, floor gym, swing, even the Ergo. Nope, none of that worked, this girl wanted my full on attention. And no one was to get in her way.
As the day wore on my patience grew small, I wanted to accomplish something! Besides nursing, diapers and cooking. I do that every day, I really don't mind it but I wanted a project to complete. I wanted to feel validated by doing something that changed something in the house.
We sat down to dinner and we finished dinner and the kids ran off to finish their rooms before showers and bed, I looked at my husband and said "I just want to do something!" and he said something that 5yrs ago that would have started the biggest fight. "Sometimes you have to accept that you can't do much right now", now that ladies and gentlemen would have fired me off and made me say things disrespectful and hurtfull. Or maybe even not speak to him and just slam cabinets, or walk off to the bedroom with Nessa and act like he doesn't exist tonight. But because A- I have learned that doesn't solve anything B- God gave him to me, to lead me and be the voice of reason and C- I have learned to hear blue through pink after 10yrs of marriage (thank you to the study Love & Respect). Now I haven't perfected hearing blue through pink, so I am not the perfect wife who says "oh thank you dear! I love you all" the time. Sometimes I do step on his air hose and waits til he turns purple. But tonight, I heard God say "Listen! He's not saying accept it you won't be doing anything til she's self sufficient. He's saying I know it bothers you, I know it frustrates you that you are not going and being 'do it all mom' . But let it go and let me help you. Accept that you need me, it's ok."
And I listened and I heard, and I still tapped on the air hose a little with my disgruntled attitude. But I accepted and let it go. With being a mom of 3 now life hasn't been the easiest transition for me, but I still love every minute of it. And I know God will bring me through all of the trails of this new path of our life.

An Amazing milestone in homeschool

It was a normal day of homeschool. We did our Bible time, devotion, math, spelling, and reading. His reading yesterday was amazing, which was a major improvement since September.
He first impressed me with reading his 20 words without a complaint or fear, then wrote his words I dictated to him. We finished out school with math worksheets that was fun.
We played til his daddy got home, did our normal evening routines. But this is where it all changed. I told him to pick a book for HIM to read. He of course picked the book he memorized, and I told him no. Without whining he picked another book, and this book he had never read before and it repeated the simple words.
He then sat with his dad, the first excitement was when he read "The"! This word has been the main cause of frustration. I don't know why but he struggled with it. Then he continued to read without crying or whining. He took time to sound things out and listen to instructions when it came to bigger words.
I sat by watching in amazement. To see him reading and to know we taught that to him. It's an unexplainable feeling of pride and amazement. Honestly I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I really can't wait to see what is next in our homeschool journey!

The Woman Behind the Curtain

You open your Facebook and the first picture you see is that mom who's post are about her perfect children, her goals she's accomplished by 8am, which is everything you have on your to-do list from yesterday. And you think "must be nice" as you step over toys and laundry you haven't picked up yet to get to your coffee maker.
I am here to tell you if you look behind the curtain, that perfect mom is only a front for a normal mom. Just like the Wizard of Oz, you won't see the reality of her struggles til you pull back the curtains and see she is a normal mom. Motherhood is not the cleanest or easiest job there is. I think some have the illusion of TV mom's who's house is spotless, kids playing in the perfect yard, and she's making dinner from scratch in heels. Well ladies that it is NOT reality.
And I feel like moms are afraid to show real motherhood in the fear of judgement from "The Perfect Mother's" groups. But at the same time we are setting up failure for future mother's who thinks they are failing because their homes and Children are not perfect 100%.
We need to take a stand and show them reality. We all have Mondays on Wednesday and some times Thursday too, and our children have melt downs, and some times we have cheerios on our floors. Life isn't perfect, but that's ok.
As long as we have a fed, healthy, some what clean (insert a laugh) children you've done an amazing job today mom! And just know that for today, you are an amazing person who brought life into this world and you work hard to sustain that life. And if you don't hear these words from anyone today "you are amazing and wonderful and Thank you for choosing motherhood".
"Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."  Proverbs 31:28-30

Back on The Wagon to a Simple Life

Now that I am finally feeling some what "normal" after having little Miss. I have started to notice that my children are overly stimulated and high energy. And for the longest time thought it was because I wasn't getting all their energy out.
Then today during quiet time while I was trying to get baby girl to nap, I read a couple blogs. One I read about "Becoming more Amish" and the second one was "The images we watch effect our hearts and minds".
The first one I read, I felt like God was speaking to me. Like he was telling me the plan he had for me and my family. So I laid out a plan in my head and prayed about it. I prayed for God to show me the path we should be one for a simple life.
Then this evening I called a family meeting after dinner and rooms where cleaned. And I laid out some small goals to start out our reattempt to a simple life.
Goal #1 -  When we rise, we get up and get dressed for the day (that includes teeth and hair). Then play using imagination and or arts and crafts.
I know part of this goal will be up to me to accomplish it. I pray to start becoming more functional, because since she came, I get up at 5am to nurse then fall back asleep, in the chair. And I am in the living room and just flip Mickey on and sleep while they watch cartoons once they get up. This has caused laziness on my part and for our day to be wasted.
Goal #2 - Limit TV and Nabi (tablet) to 1-2hrs a day. Every day when I say imagination time I hear "but I have NOTHING to do"... Well that's a lie, bc they have several toys in their room. I explained we are going to use more of our brain and more hand play. My son is really good at imagination time. He would play for hours, my daughter however is not because she plays for 20mins and comes out to ask is she done. I am going to work on them using their imagination and JUST play, and make stuff from simple things. Using their imagination full time!
Goal #3 - Calmer evenings and more family time. That really us goal #1 but I know it will be a couple grumpy nights bc they didn't get a lot of TV or Nabi.
I do understand that my goals seem simple, but at the end of my pregnancy and postpartum stage I formed really bad habits of TV and Nabi of unlimited. Yes it is easier to just sit them there so I can sleep, and do what I want. But the more I sat and watched my children slowly become the TV and technology obsess children. And it made me feel guilty and awful that it became this way. And I want to get our family to a simple life style. To erase the I wants, and the need for US to entertain them.

"A pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life." Proverbs 13:7

I know God will guide our plans to his will. And I look forward to achieving our goals together as a family.