Friday, June 1, 2012

Standards... What is yours?

So yesterday, I decided to BRAVELY take all 4 Children (2 are mine 2 are my sister in laws) to the mall. And you would think I was the Dugger's or Gosslin's walking through the Mall. I had people starring, and talking to each other. I over heard one lady say "Have you ever seen such good behavior?" I just smiled while walking by, 2 in a stroller and 2 joined in hands walking beside me. And I thought to myself, is this really so rare to see? Is having a STANDARD OF BEHAVIOR normal? Why is so rare? Why do people this is something you see once in a life time? I have been asked on many occasions "How do you get your kids to listen?" honestly I have NO clue... Its just how I raise them from birth! My sister laughs and holds this against me when my oldest was born and I was trying to nurse him, he was fussing and I was rocking him, I looked at him and said "Kristopher Nathaniel mommy understands you are hungry, but you need to calm down and we will work together to feed you, yes?" and he stopped, she said only I can make a 2 day old listen like a 5yr old! I never could give an answer, but all I can say is, children at 1mths can understand you. I talk to my children like people, I use words like "disrespectful, rude, obedient and inappropriate" and I talk with authority and never allow back talk or tantrums. As well MOST important, we now live by the FIRST TIME TOLD rule, you get told 1 time that's it! 
   I still remember one day I was at the Drs office. I had my children and 1 other for the day, and the two older kids (my son plus the child in care) was pushing and goofing. I turned to them told them if I have the step away from the Dr again they where in trouble and will have consequence once at home. They quieted down. Later they start shoving each other, I asked the Dr. to stop for a moment and watch my youngest. I got down to their level and repeated "When we get home you will be going to bed, no TV time and no out door time. You have DISRESPECTFUL and DISOBEDIENT. Do you understand?" after the Dr finished with Lena, she brought stickers and was about to hand them over. I stopped her in middle of handing my children gifts... She explained that she thought they behaved really well by ANYONE standards. I looked at her with all calmness and explained "And that is fine in the standard of the world, but MY children have a STANDARD THEY MUST FOLLOW in our household. And if they don't, they know the consequences. And I will continue to raise them based on our standards" I don't think she clearly understood what I was saying. But this is how we raise our children, we set standards and in the BEIN house, no matter age, race, relationship, disability, once you walk through our door and you are left in my authority you have a STANDARD of behavior. We live by 1 standard CHRIST, you will act like Christ and love like Christ. When we are out in public you WILL NOT act out, and you WILL NOT embarrass me (tantrums and disrespect) because it will be your last time out in public for awhile. I have been Blessed to only needing to leave 1 time in my 4 yrs of being a mom, with my own children. Now they are NOT PERFECT by any means, but they understand once out in public you (as in my other post "Whats in a name") you carry our name and Christ name, and that's what you represent.
    And it amazes me to this day, how many compliments I get from people about well behaved children and how they've never such well behaved kids. And at the same time it frightening as well to think its RARE to find kids with STANDARDS... and I pray everyday that I have a chance to raise my children they will hold fast to their standards!
 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. 
Proverbs 22:6

Blessings,
Tina Bein


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